SCARS( DEALING WITH YOUR HURTS)
The scars on the bark of the tree in the bush have histories surrounding it. There was a time the farmer wanted to cut the tree but changed his mind when he was half-way through. There was another time that a boisterous wind almost broke the trunk of the tree but it survived. Different animals chewed the bark of this tree and left their imprints on it. Looking vividly at the tree, you will see that every scar has a specific history.
The scars on the body of the soldier are emblems of memories that will never leave him. He remembers when he was shot at the arm, got cut by a knife, hit by the fragments of a grenade and even when he was pierced with an arrow.
Scars are the physical expressions of healed wounds. A wound may heal outwardly but deep within, will always remain as fresh in the heart of the victim as possible. With these wounds, no matter how healed they are physically, the person still feels it fresh in his mind and heart when he sees the person who inflicted it. Wounds are registered on the body but scars become imprints within the heart.
A lot of people who have been hurt in the past thought they had forgotten about the incident, only to realise that it is still fresh in their minds when they saw the person who made them go through that pain. Like scars on the body, they are not forgotten, but always remembered when they are seen.
Scars are left when relationships end bitterly. Memories then turn into miseries and that indelible mark of disappointment, disgrace and feelings of ingratitude never leave the victim. The more they want to get over them and move on, the more these feelings drag them down. At times, you think you have forgotten about it, till you meet him. There are scars when marriages end in divorce. Scars are imprinted in the heart when people feel betrayed by someone they placed their whole trust in.
All these tell us that people can deal with physical scars, but it is very difficult to deal with emotional scars. Matters of the heart that are connected to the soul are very difficult to let go. The scars can be covered with make ups but never can they be removed. You might pretend all is well when you meet the person but that will always be a lie.
Some memories are painful, many are unbearable and few are always forgotten. Nobody can help you let go of your painful memories if you do not make up your mind to let go. I know it is difficult but you need to save yourself from that trauma you always go through at night whiles those who hurt you are even sleeping soundly. You need to let go of the pain and decision not to trust or love again whiles the one who hurt you is happily enjoying his or her life. It hurts, yes i know. It is very difficult to let go, yes i know. However, you are making yourself a great disservice as you hang on to a dead branch of a tree. People are always hurt because they do not want to accept the fact that it is over and they need to move on.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SCARS
1. Dealing with bitterness.
Bitterness affects only you. The person who made you bitter at times does not even think about you. However, the more you see him, the more you are full of rage and bitterness, a situation that poisons you all the time. With bitterness, you do things that you regret later. The Bible in Hebrews 12:15 describes bitterness as a poisonous root that troubles the soul of man. You will never be happy in life if you do not uproot that root of bitterness. Imagine how your heart beats faster and your mind is full of rage when you are bitter. Bitterness have the tendency of hindering your relationship with your maker.It opens the door to malicious thoughts and brings a lot of regrets to you at the end.
2. Forgive
Forgiveness is a divine thing that helps you a lot. We all know the Lord´s prayer but most of us have not taken the chance to analyse it. " And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". This means that if you do not forgive those who have hurt you, then God should also not forgive you. It is very difficult to forgive man but it is always divine to do so. I still had people in my life i felt never to forgive in life but i found out that it was a blockade to my blessing and well being.
Mark 11:25 explains it further that we should forgive so that our Father in heaven will also forgive us when we pray. Don´t expect God to forgive you if you do not forgive others.
3. Forget
´ I have forgiven him, but i will never forget.´ This is what a lot of people say. In fact it is very difficult to forget about the pains inflicted on you. People still cannot forget the memories of how they were maltreated by their step parents, husbands, family members etc. They always feel the pains fresh within when they remember. Generally it is difficult to forget but we must make the conscious effort to do so. The more you recall those memories, the easier you get bitter. If you want to forget about that pain then find something that makes you happy instead of making you remember that pain. It might be a sport, an association etc.
4. Let them see that you have moved on.
Never allow anyone to drag your success. Never give chance for your bitter memories to toll on you. Move on and let go of the past. The past is very heavy and it will always drag you down. The past is history, we learn from it so that we have experience. The future is mystery and we do not know what it holds for us. Concentrate on your present life. Like Isaiah said in Isaiah 43:18-19, forget the former things. Like Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13, leave the things behind and reach unto things that are ahead. Your today can be immensely affected by your yesterday if you give that chance. Do not let them know that they have won. If he left you, then he does not deserve you. If he betrayed you, then it is not worth killing yourself. Learn from your mistake and move on.
You are the source of happiness in your life. Your joy depends on you and not on anyone. It is up to you to make that decision. Yes you can forget that pain. You can be happy once again.
The scars on the body of the soldier are emblems of memories that will never leave him. He remembers when he was shot at the arm, got cut by a knife, hit by the fragments of a grenade and even when he was pierced with an arrow.
Scars are the physical expressions of healed wounds. A wound may heal outwardly but deep within, will always remain as fresh in the heart of the victim as possible. With these wounds, no matter how healed they are physically, the person still feels it fresh in his mind and heart when he sees the person who inflicted it. Wounds are registered on the body but scars become imprints within the heart.
A lot of people who have been hurt in the past thought they had forgotten about the incident, only to realise that it is still fresh in their minds when they saw the person who made them go through that pain. Like scars on the body, they are not forgotten, but always remembered when they are seen.
Scars are left when relationships end bitterly. Memories then turn into miseries and that indelible mark of disappointment, disgrace and feelings of ingratitude never leave the victim. The more they want to get over them and move on, the more these feelings drag them down. At times, you think you have forgotten about it, till you meet him. There are scars when marriages end in divorce. Scars are imprinted in the heart when people feel betrayed by someone they placed their whole trust in.
All these tell us that people can deal with physical scars, but it is very difficult to deal with emotional scars. Matters of the heart that are connected to the soul are very difficult to let go. The scars can be covered with make ups but never can they be removed. You might pretend all is well when you meet the person but that will always be a lie.
Some memories are painful, many are unbearable and few are always forgotten. Nobody can help you let go of your painful memories if you do not make up your mind to let go. I know it is difficult but you need to save yourself from that trauma you always go through at night whiles those who hurt you are even sleeping soundly. You need to let go of the pain and decision not to trust or love again whiles the one who hurt you is happily enjoying his or her life. It hurts, yes i know. It is very difficult to let go, yes i know. However, you are making yourself a great disservice as you hang on to a dead branch of a tree. People are always hurt because they do not want to accept the fact that it is over and they need to move on.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SCARS
1. Dealing with bitterness.
Bitterness affects only you. The person who made you bitter at times does not even think about you. However, the more you see him, the more you are full of rage and bitterness, a situation that poisons you all the time. With bitterness, you do things that you regret later. The Bible in Hebrews 12:15 describes bitterness as a poisonous root that troubles the soul of man. You will never be happy in life if you do not uproot that root of bitterness. Imagine how your heart beats faster and your mind is full of rage when you are bitter. Bitterness have the tendency of hindering your relationship with your maker.It opens the door to malicious thoughts and brings a lot of regrets to you at the end.
2. Forgive
Forgiveness is a divine thing that helps you a lot. We all know the Lord´s prayer but most of us have not taken the chance to analyse it. " And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". This means that if you do not forgive those who have hurt you, then God should also not forgive you. It is very difficult to forgive man but it is always divine to do so. I still had people in my life i felt never to forgive in life but i found out that it was a blockade to my blessing and well being.
Mark 11:25 explains it further that we should forgive so that our Father in heaven will also forgive us when we pray. Don´t expect God to forgive you if you do not forgive others.
3. Forget
´ I have forgiven him, but i will never forget.´ This is what a lot of people say. In fact it is very difficult to forget about the pains inflicted on you. People still cannot forget the memories of how they were maltreated by their step parents, husbands, family members etc. They always feel the pains fresh within when they remember. Generally it is difficult to forget but we must make the conscious effort to do so. The more you recall those memories, the easier you get bitter. If you want to forget about that pain then find something that makes you happy instead of making you remember that pain. It might be a sport, an association etc.
4. Let them see that you have moved on.
Never allow anyone to drag your success. Never give chance for your bitter memories to toll on you. Move on and let go of the past. The past is very heavy and it will always drag you down. The past is history, we learn from it so that we have experience. The future is mystery and we do not know what it holds for us. Concentrate on your present life. Like Isaiah said in Isaiah 43:18-19, forget the former things. Like Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13, leave the things behind and reach unto things that are ahead. Your today can be immensely affected by your yesterday if you give that chance. Do not let them know that they have won. If he left you, then he does not deserve you. If he betrayed you, then it is not worth killing yourself. Learn from your mistake and move on.
You are the source of happiness in your life. Your joy depends on you and not on anyone. It is up to you to make that decision. Yes you can forget that pain. You can be happy once again.
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