TWENTY (20) THINGS EVERY MAN WANTS IN A WOMAN

The woman race has been the most discussed topic since the world evolved, because they form up the basis of living. They are not weak in nature, but rather, they are delicate vessels that men have to handle with care.  The woman houses the precious gift called life. She incubates that blessing and nurses it till the blessing is able to be on his or her own. The woman is a real blessing in life and can determine the success or failure of the man. Give the woman groceries and she will give you a meal. Give her a house and she will give you a home. Give her sperms and she will definitely give you a baby. Give the woman trouble and she will by all means give you hell. This means that the woman is able to reciprocate in abundance whatever you give her.

A lot of books have been written on marriage and relationship. Many people consult these books to make their marriages and relationships works. There are numerous guidelines clearly illustrated in these books. However, we still live in an era where we experience a lot of break ups in relationships and divorces in marriage are like raindrops on the back of the camel. I will attribute these mishaps to the fact that mostly, we do not know what the man wants in the woman and vice versa. We are happy to see that our parents have been married for over thirty years and they still love each other. We are glad to sit by them and chat but little do we know that their marriages still stand because our fathers knew what they wanted in our mothers and they went for it.

The youth of today are mostly after things that compel the eye to behold forever and they omit the intrinsic qualities that they will live with forever. The things we see with our eyes always fade away by time. The curves of the lady, her smooth skin and how she walks will never be the same again after ten years. The six packs that you are dying for will evolve into one pack in ten years time and if that was your basis for being in the relationship, you will always be looking out for a new person with those things pleasing to your eye. This has been the mistake of this era and we need to learn from it and build lasting relationships.

Never conclude by saying all men are the same. Never think that all women are the same and that what Priscilla did to end the relationship will be the very things Marisca will do. We are all different and we have eyes for different things. There are certain things every man wants to see in the woman he will want to be with. As a lady, you need to know how men think so that you prepare yourself to deal with them and keep your relationship. As a gentleman, you have to work to know the mindset of the female race. Every product has a manual and this manual has instructions that guide the user. Some people who don´t read the manual will never know the extra functions of the product. There are hidden features of the product that only the manual can reveal. This is a manual for you to know what every man wants in a woman. As a man, you have to read this so that you know whether you are making the right choice.

This work will make the woman discover herself and know who she really is and what she needs to add up to her life for her to be found by the man.

                                        CHARACTER

Every man desires to be with a woman with character. Irrespective of how ill the man was raised in life, he will never go in for a woman with disdained character. The character of the woman is as a result of how she was brought up, where she lived, the things she was exposed to and the beliefs she had whiles growing up. Every man wants a lady who speaks well and who can control her temper even when things are falling. A woman with character always thinks through things before she does them. She is willing to put her man first and will never do anything to tarnish the image of the man. The woman is the outward expression of the man. She can bring glory to the man, at the same time disgrace. Throughout scriptures, kings and noble men always desired to be with women with character. King David desired to be with Abigail because she had a unique character that even prevented David from sinning against God. Women without character like Delilah caused the downfall of their men.

Character can either be in-built or attained through conscious efforts. There are people who were born with certain characters. They speak anyhow and behave unseemly. However, this can be erased and new characters can be learnt if she is willing to make that conscious effort. A woman without character is a disgrace to her man and family. The man will always have to hide her in the  midst of friends and family because she will disgrace him.

Now, you might think that you are a hardcore and the man does not care of your character. It is true, that you are no nonsense lady, you don´t tolerate nonsense and you speak anyhow. The guy will be with you for fun but when it is time for him to settle down, you will be the least on his list. 

 Character is what the family of the man seeks for. You must be accepted by the man´s family if you want your relationship or marriage to be an enjoyable one. It is your character that will sustain you in the marriage, not your beauty. The woman with character is always a delight to her man. Friends and families of the man will always love to be in the company of the woman with character. Character will be exhibited in how you receive people to your house, how you keep your home, how you carry yourself and even how you dress. 

Every man is first attracted to beauty but what keeps them in the relationship is not the beauty, it is character that does. Men always get disappointed after few days when they find out that what they were attracted to is different from what they expected to find within.

Your character does not come as a result of the degrees and honours you have from school. Character is not exhibited in the wealth of your family. You will always be disappointed if you thing your academic qualifications bring out the great characters in you. You are groomed with character in the home, you add up to character in the church you attend and also in your association. There is always a saying , that ,show me your friend and i will show your character. The people you move with mostly determine who you are. Birds of the same feathers fly together. No man will go to the red light district to search for a wife. No man will take a wayward lady to wife because of her beauty or whatsoever. Yes, he might crush on you for few days and that will be the end. When he wants to settle down, it is automatic that he will always go in for the woman with a good character.

It is your character that keeps your man. Every man wants to marry a woman with a sense of humour. Every man wants to get someone who will make him laugh after a long day´s work. What is good for the goose is equally good for the gander. How can you make your friends happy and you end up being the quietest person with dry humour when your man is around? What intrigues your friends will also intrigue your man. 

                  RESPECT

Whiles i was growing up, i was thought by my mum that respect is the weapon every woman uses as a bait to keep her man. Men are created to lead and that makes them feel important and superior in their heads. Every man is attracted to the woman who respects him. He wants to be with the woman who is always available to follow his leadings in life. A man is really disrespected if his words are taken lightly. 

The women of the churches of old kept their marriages because they respected their husbands. They saw that as a responsibility. Every man will never go in for a lady who always argues with him on decisions. He will never settle with a woman who thinks she has the power to change things in the man´s life. The man always sees himself to be weak if the woman domineers.

Every man wants a woman who respects herself. A woman who respects herself does not dress anyhow. She does not talk anyhow, eat anyhow or behave anyhow. Every man wants to marry a woman with a sense of decency. You might be dressing exposing your breasts and other hidden parts to the world and the man may be attracted to them. Yes, he might hang out with you for hours or even days. However, bear it in mind that he will never take you to the altar because every man has some level of selfishness in him. He does not want to share his lady with any other person.

The lady who respects her man will always follow the principles laid down in the house or even during dating. As you get to know each other very well, there are instances the man will weigh the percentage of respect you have for him. The respect for the man´s family, friends and colleagues are always taken into consideration when he wants to settle down. I have witnessed people who dated for more than three years but broke up because the lady never respected the man. She did things she thought were right and did not care about the opinions of the man. No matter how bad things are, always learn to respect your man. There are times women turn to disrespect their men when the men lose their jobs or are financially handicapped. Respect is not built with money.  Every man wants to be with a woman who will respect him even when he has nothing.

Situations never made Sarah disrespect Abraham. Even when things were not going well with them, Sarah still respected whatever decision Abraham made. Ladies who respect their men never nag. It is only lack of respect that will make a lady insult her man. The lack of respect will make a lady to raise her hand at her man. Men are egoistic in nature and they always demand respect even from their mothers. There is no way a lady will respect her man if she has the habit of disrespecting her father or brothers.  The moment the man sees this in your traits, he will back off automatically.

What the man looks out for is what he will follow and chase. As every man wants a woman who can respect them, you need to avail yourself as such.

                 AFFECTION

Research has shown that babies who receive much affection develop a strong self esteem and personality as compared to babies who do not receive affection. Affection is a tool that makes one feel accepted and cherished. It is the desire of every man to be with a woman who shows her affection. The woman who always communicates the love language of the man is always appreciated in the relationship. As a lady, always have it in mind that as you need affection, likewise, the man also deserves it. It is through affection that the man feels loved. He will always love you and be with you if you communicate his love language. The reason why most men leave their relationships is because they do not receive affection from their spouses. The moment a different lady shows those affections towards him, he begins to think twice.

Love is a beautiful thing and everyone goes to where he feels accepted and appreciated. Do not allow your career to prevent you from showing your love towards your man. Do not allow your pursuit in life to deprive you from expressing your affection. Men are attached to people that show them affection more than even their jobs. That is why it is very difficult to break them form their mothers. If you want to break that cord between the man and his mother, show him more affection. Affection keeps the man and makes you have him forever. The woman who shows her affection will do anything to make her man happy. Yes, anything, and that is what every man looks out for. Every man wants to see that his woman will always fight for his love. Ladies think they are the only people who need affection. Men need it even more because a man will forever be a baby and as you treat him right, he will always love to be with you.

 If the love language of the man is quality time, spend more time with him. If it is gifts, shower him periodically with surprises. Know the love language of your man so that you can communicate his love language effectively to him.

                 INTELLIGENCE

My mum never had formal education, but my dad was always proud to be with her because she was intelligent. Intelligence is not acquired only through formal education. There are a lot of ladies who have degrees in economics, aerodynamics and the likes, but lack this formular. A lady with intelligence is the one that has “home sense”. She is full of wisdom and can contribute tremendously to problem solving. An intelligent lady always plans before she executes any task. She knows how to manage the home and set priorities. 

Every man always looks out for a lady who is intelligent. Esther, in the bible, is a clear example of a woman with intelligence. She put her generation first before her comfort. An intelligent lady is always admired by her husband. She can contribute to any topic and shares the burden of the husband. The intelligent lady plans the home when the husband is away and keeps the family always united. She always knows what to say and when to say it. The intelligent woman confides in her husband more than she confides in friends. She does not allow the problems she confronts to leave the corridors of her home. She advises her husband when he goes astray and always has his interest at heart. Instead of Sapphira to advise Ananias, her husband, she condoned to sin against God. Intelligent women see the end of the journey before they embark on it and they always serve as the torch and the sword for the husband. The intelligent woman advises her husband on his contracts and dealings with others. She discourages the husband from using evil means or corrupt means of attaining wealth.

“And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where was a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And so it was, that as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread.And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually.Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither.”

2 Kings 4:8-10

It always takes the intelligent woman to advise her husband. Every man needs this kind of woman in his life. A woman who can advise him and cause breakthroughs. Due to this help this woman gave the prophet, the years of barrenness in her marriage ended.

“And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou shalt embrace a son. And she said, Nay, my lord, thou man of God, do not lie unto thine handmaid.And the woman conceived, and bare a son at that season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life.”

2 Kings 4:16-17

                 CONFIDENCE

Confidence is the ability to see possibilities in the midst of impossibilities. Every man has his limits when it comes to faith or courage in himself. There are times all odds come against the man and that is when you even see men of God doubting whether God really called them for ministry. In the midst of situations like this, a woman with faith can always turn things around. This is the time every man needs a woman who will reiterate the promises of God to the man and assure him of better days ahead. 

“And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedesh–naphtali, and said unto him, Hath not the Lord God of Israel commanded, saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun?And I will draw unto thee to the river Kishon Sisera, the captain of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand.And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go.And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the Lord shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh.”

Judges 4:6-9

Deborah had to reiterate the promises of God for his children, to Barak before he was able to stand on his feet again. She needed to motivate this man when they thought they had lost the battle. Every man looks out for this trait in the woman he wants to marry or date. It is not your fame that will keep you on your feet when you lose faith in yourself. Every man wants a woman who will inspire him to do greater things and pursue his dream. The wives of renowned men of valour have played this role tremendously to bring their husbands to where we see them today. They always attribute their success to their wives.

Every man wants a woman who will always be by his side no matter what happens. It takes courage for a lady to accept to even marry a man who has nothing, knowing perfectly that things will change. It takes a courageous lady to see the end of the journey before they begin it. 

               INNOVATION

God created the woman to be the help mate of the man. This means the woman must think for the man and find solutions to problems when the man is lost in ideas. Yes, at times it happens. The Shunnamite saw that her husband lacked ideas when it came to providing a place for the prophet to rest. She suggested to her husband not just to feed the prophet, but to also prepare a room for him. When Abigail found out that her husband, Nabal, and done certain acts to insult David and his men, she hurriedly sent food and other stuffs as a sign of appreciation to appease David and that prevented David from killing Nabal and his family.

Every man wants to be with a lady who thinks outside the box to make things happen. Some people tag women as the cause of problems, but i believe that women have solutions to every problem if they are able to discover themselves. The man thinks for the family, that is why he is considered as the head. Women are the neck, attached to the head. They have the steering abilities to direct the family as the man sits comfortably in the driving seat. It is innovation that makes the woman know how to settle the bills of the family. Through innovation, she is able to prioritise things that need to be addressed in the home. A woman with innovation always knows what to do and when to do it.

The innovative woman always thinks ahead. She always has a back up plan to everything in the house. Every man wants a hardworking lady in his life. He wants a lady who can combine  her profession with her household duties. Women are not slaves. The fact that you are hardworking does not make you a slave. It sets you apart and makes you the woman that all men envy to have.

                  EMOTIONAL MATURITY

Every man wants to marry a lady who is emotionally matured. Women are very emotional and this at times causes them to behave in a way that men don´t like. They react to issues with their feelings more than with their minds. Women are always weak in this aspect and become very vulnerable. It is the desire of every man to be with the lady who can face her challenges and take the bull by the horn. Ladies who are emotionally matured always develop themselves and do not wait for their men to develop them. Emotionally matured people don´t lord their views on others and they disagree without criticisms.

The emotionally matured always has it in mind that the journey will never be smooth throughout. She prepares herself to meet any eventualities and is always positive minded. Every man wants a woman with a calm demeanour. Men want to always be with ladies who can contain pressure no matter the opposition.

Men love ladies who belief in themselves. Ladies who are emotionally matured are always independent and are willing to make it in life without pushing their problems on the man they date. They always keep their eyes on the prize and work towards it. Every man dreams to be with a woman who accepts her mistakes and learns from them. You cannot be emotionally matured if you are arrogant. Ladies who always nag lacks emotional maturity. They always base on their feeling to make decisions and always want things to be cozy. For you to be emotionally matured, you need mental toughness. Men seek for ladies who can stand by their side in trial moments, not those who will run away. There are some ladies who heap the entire burden of her extended family on you the moment she dates you. She will request everything from you, from hair cream to nail polisher. These ladies see the men they date as their automated teller machines. They lack emotional maturity and no man will be with you for long if you have this trait.

             SOMEONE HE IS ATTRACTED TO

Men like beautiful things and always want to be associated with things that are attractive. Men are always attracted to what they see. In the garden of Eden, it was not that Adam never saw the fruits of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. He saw it and was attracted to them but was scared to violate the rule of God. Women always want to be connected to attractive things because that naturally define their beauty. Upon interviewing numerous married men and those in relationship, i discovered that these men were first enthused to know more of their women because they looked beautiful and attractive when they first saw them.

A man will always love to see you dress beautifully and decently. We are attracted to what we see. The more you appease us with your beauty, the easier we will come forward. Attraction does not only mean beauty. Every man is also attracted to the character the women exhibits. Traits like humility, desire to help others, mannerisms etc are always looked out for by men when they want to settle down. How you dress must correlate with what is within you. Some ladies spend more time beautifying their outward features and neglect their inner traits. He will first be attracted to your beauty but what will sustain the relationship is your inner traits.

Every man wants his friends to admire his woman. Every woman wants those around him to use his woman as an example when discussing good topics. The pride of the man behoves on the woman he is with. Men do not want to be with women who are loud. Loud women dress just to entice others. They show off their hidden parts just to catch the attention of the many. Every man has a level of jealousy that prevents him from sharing his woman and the hidden features of his lady with others. 

We look out for beauty in character and also the outward beauty. When you discover what your man is attracted to, it makes it easier for you to maintain him forever. This prevents him from looking elsewhere for what he already has.

                            ACCEPTANCE

It is very sad when a man is always struggling to do things  to please his woman. The relationship of women who want their men to be what they want them to be always end fatally. When you cannot accept him for who he is, it opens a gap for another lady to enter , even if you are married to him. Every man wants a lady who will accept him for who he is. Love is beautiful so far as there is understanding and the woman allows the man to be who he wants to be in life. He might have nothing but so far as he has a dream, he always wants a woman who will accept his present situation and inspire him to achieve his dream.

Men don´t want women who will push them around to be who they don´t want to be. Women who don´t accept their men for who they are always compare their men to others. They want their men to buy personal cars because their friends are riding in one. They want their men to travel because their colleagues are travelling with their men. When a woman begins to compare her man to others, it makes her ungrateful and unappreciative. Every man will run away from a woman with this trait. We love to be accepted and motivated to do greater things. Men don´t want to be pushed around by their women.

Men always look down on themselves and find it difficult to fulfil their dreams when the women they love don´t accept them for who they are. Mostly, when there is financial constraints in the relationship, the woman always fight the man verbally and pushes him to go beyond the ordinary to provide. Yes, i do not mean the woman should not encourage the man to do better. What i mean is that every man wants a woman who will accept his present situation though it might not be encouraging, but is willing to be with him and build their future together. The relationship is always enjoyable when you have a lady who inspires you and motivates you throughout the journey. The woman who compliments you for your achievements and expresses it cheerfully will always be proud of you. This is the kind men want. We always want our women to be proud of us. The first woman to be proud of you as a man is your mother. When you grow up and that affection fades away, you need your life partner to fill in that gap and even do better.

Every man expects his woman to believe in him. When all odds are against the man, it takes the woman he is with to turn things around. That is faith. There is no way you will see the end of the journey at the start up point. The journey will never be bed of roses, but the woman who has faith in you is always prepared to embark on that journey with you. Sarah believed in Abraham. She did not hear God speak to Abraham, neither did she see the vision of his husband, but she believed in him and that brought the success of the patriarch of faith. They say, behind every successful man is a woman. This is true so far as the woman believes in the man, motivates him and endeavours to be with him no matter the circumstances he encounters. This is the kind of woman every man wants. Every man wants a woman who will constructively point out his faults and offer suggestions to making things right. The woman who believes in you will never give up on you when you fail in life. She will always be by your side and help you to rise to your feet again. This is the kind that every man seeks for.

     TAKING CARE OF THE HOME

In our system of living, we have always seen the woman to be the one who spends more time with the children and ensure that things are in order in the house. The upbringing of the children rests almost 70% on the woman. When the woman is missing in the home, there is always imperfection and the brouhaha caused always affect the growth of the children. 

Men always see themselves to play the role as providers for the family. However, every man  desires to have a woman who can really take care of the home. When man gives a woman groceries, he expects to receive a sumptuous meal. When the man gives the woman, a house, he expects to have a home. When the man gives the woman a sperm , he expects to have a baby. Men always want someone who can care for the home. As he toils to make ends meet, he expects to come back home to meet a wife ready to quench that anger he brought from the office, clean that dirt he sustained along the journey and above all, make the home a resting place where he can relax from the day´s work. The fact that you care for the home does not make you a slave. What every man wants is a serene environment to rest from the hustles and tussles of the day.

The man wants a woman who will train the children and order their steps. Yes, they will contribute to the development of the children but women spend more time with their children and that is why most people are closer to their mothers or those who raised them. What every man expects is to come home after a hard day´s work, to meet a loving wife who has his meal ready and willing to listen to his pursuits for the day. A woman without understanding can never make a home. Adam never blamed Eve for his fall because Eve provided him a home and that was his consolation. Imagine how it would have been if after Adam had toiled for the day by tilling the ground, he came home just to see only oranges on the table.

There is a saying that the road to a man´s heart is through his belly. This is very true. Isaac even wanted to eat his best meal before he got ready to bless his son. As a lady, you can make your man happy if you know how to cook. Men never joke with their food and they will always stick to those who prepare sumptuous meals for them. How can you be in a relationship but your man always eats from his mother´s end, and amazingly, you see nothing wrong with it? The moment a different lady offers those services, the relationship gets on the brink of falling. Yes, food is important to the man. Learn how to cook if you don´t and he will like you forever. Do not be happy if your man does not eat your food and always relies on fast foods. He might tell you that he does not want to stress you but it is a lie. He does not enjoy your food and you have also not made the conscious effort to learn. Every man likes good food and they will always stick to even friends who can give them good food. For you to be able to take care of the home, cooking must be a priority. Some ladies bring up the argument that they also work as the man does, so they cannot cook for them because they are always tired. I believe these ladies do not strategise their time very well. Even your manageress cooks for the husband so what excuse can you give? Why can’t you develop a strategy to prepare the stews and soups during the weekend and refrigerate them. At least, with that, the man can always prepare something to eat with it. If another lady in that same office of yours always have time to bring food to your house for your husband to enjoy, i think you will think twice. Irrespective of that fact that you have a maidservant in your house, it is always necessary to at least take a day off to personally cook for your husband.

The orderliness of the home rests mostly on the woman. Men will always get angry over the way things are scattered in the house, even when they are the cause. When he visits you and always sees dirty clothes all around the place, unfolded clothes, scattered wardrobes, and dirts around, he will conclude that you are dirty or you cannot manage the home. Home management is not all about making good use of the money in the house, the cleanliness and orderliness of things in the house are part it.

                      SECURITY

When men are boys, they don´t really take commitment as a serious issue. They think they can have a different lady when the relationship breaks anytime and do not actually take their time to value what they have. However, the situation changes when they become men. Every man  wants a lady who is committed to him. This commitment means security to them. Men will never take you serious if you give them the impression that you can choose amongst the lot anytime. They will always leave you when you are not committed to them.

With issues on cheating, every man does not want to share his woman with a different person. He expects to be the only man in the woman´s life even when he is cheating on her. Cheating is never good and i will not encourage it because it divides the attention and resources that you have to give to your spouse. Men are very fragile emotionally and cannot stand a lady who is not committed in the relationship. Commitment shows how serious you are in the relationship and how you are willing to let go of all those potential suitors just to be with him. This commitment does not mean you cannot have friends, however, every man is afraid to see you with friends who are potential threats to the relationship.

Men don´t want ladies who always use their work, family, friends etc as excuses for not being with them. The moment you always give the excuse that you are focusing now in your work, your grades are falling so you have to quit the relationship for some time and things like that, it automatically puts him off and makes him available to be found by other ladies. Ladies who are afraid of making long term plans with you will always never be committed to you. The moment the guy sees that all your plans are short termed, lasting for just a week or a month, he begins to think otherwise. 

Guys want to be with ladies who do what they say. They want actions not just words. If you are a lady and you always promise this and that but never execute them, your words become empty without any touch of seriousness to the guy and he will see you as not being serious with the relationship. Women who do not show commitment always reserve their emotions and that is what guys look out for. The moment you push aside your emotions when they need to be in action, it gives them clear signs that you are not committed. The maths is simple, so far as you are not committed to him, it is a clear sign that you are committed to someone else.  It is always difficult to commit to someone if your mind is on another.

True men take commitment to be a serious thing. Real men don´t want to waste their time when they find the one they love and one thing they use to determine your preparedness is how committed you are. Ladies who don´t show commitment are always afraid that the relationship might not work. Some people feel that you have to be 100% sure before you commit yourself, but that is not the case. You will never get that 100% assurance so far as we are human beings. As long as you have things you look out for in the guy you want to be with, move on and search for those traits based on your priorities. Though you may not see all those traits in him, you can always make your decision by considering the higher percentage.

Men have this in their minds, that a lady who is not committed to you, probably is not into you. They will, therefore, not waste their time on you if you are not showing the commitment they want.

                        SEX

Some people are of the view that men can never do away with sex. They believe that the desire for sex always has to be satisfied in man if his woman wants to keep him for good. Apart from the fact that sex is the means for procreation, it also binds individuals who partake in the act. The make up of men when it comes to sex varies from women. Women do not feel for sex all the time but this is very different in men. The slightest thing they see can propel their hormones connected to their sex drives to be secreted and when this happens, their heads become filled up to just have it at all cost. Very few men  are able to control those desires and the thirst for sex whenever it comes makes a lot of men unfaithful in their relationships.

It is very difficult for men to stay with a woman who does not make herself available for sex when needed. A lot of marriages have ended up on the rocks because of this. In marriage there must be mutual understanding when it comes to sex between partners. There are times  the woman may not be well to have sex and at other times may not just be in the mood. This is different from times when nothing is wrong with the lady but she just does not deem it necessary to satisfy the desires of the man. What has pushed a lot of men out of their matrimonial homes is sexually related issues. 

Men want sex from ladies they are attracted to. This sexual desire is the reason why your spouse is different from your friend. You may be attracted to your lady friend but it is very possible you won’t have the desire to have sex with her. Ladies attach a lot of emotions to sex, unlike men. Ladies will be willing to have sex with you so far as they are emotionally attached to you, unlike men who are just triggered by what they see.

Every man wants to have a lady who will not deny him sex at all times. He wants a lady who will make him happy in bed and who will satisfy that desire whenever the need arises. They want to be surprised with romantic moments. Men feel more loved when ladies take the initiative of introducing sex. One of the pillars that a happy marriage stands on is the joy evolved through sex. When both parties are happy with their sex lives, it makes the relationship beautiful.

Men love ladies who are adventurous when it comes to sex. They want to see something different and learn new things. The fact that your mother taught you only one way of doing things in bed does not mean that you cannot explore. Christopher Columbus was an explorer. So were Amerigo Vespucci, Francisco Pizarro and Mungo Park. These are just few names to ascertain the fact that men love adventure. Be adventurous in bed and you will always make him yearn to be early in the house all the time. A certain lady visited a friend for a week and was surprised how the lady´s husband was home around 8pm all the time. The lady just told her friend her secret, that she had intentionally fixed the time for sex to be 8pm and she adds up new discoveries all the time that always make the man yearn to come home on time.

                     A WOMAN WHO IS REAL

I knew a lady in my neighbourhood when i was growing up. This lady behaved like a chameleon to different men who dated her. To Rich, she was a banker, to Evans, she was a secretary. Mike knew her as a journalist whiles Steve knew her as a public relations officer. This lady lived in a world of lies and she is now almost forty years without any man to settle down with. Men always want to be with ladies who are real. Let them know who you are and what you are made of. Transparency means a lot to men who are serious to settle down. Be yourself, be real and don´t fake things.

It is better to show your true colours than to fake it and be caught later in life. This embarrassment always pisses men off and they lose trust in you if you live a life full of pre tense. Some ladies think they need to present themselves as wealthy and women of class before they can get the right guy. Interestingly, these ladies meet guys who also pretend to be of a class which they are not. They end up being broken-hearted and miss the right guy who could have shown them true love.

Lies and deceits in relationship always tear it apart. Be who you are and let him love you for that. Don´t be smiling and laughing just to give him the impression that he has a sense of humour whiles he does not. Let him know when you dislike a character he exhibits. It is better to tell him who he is instead of pretending and believing that he will change. Maybe he might not, so the earlier you make him know his faults, the better for both of you. 

Present yourself to him as you are. Some ladies are fond of wearing things to add flesh to their breasts and butts. The man might be attracted to them but imagine when he finds out that they are not real. Save yourself the embarrassment, my lady. Be who you are when he takes you out. Show him your true colours and let him decide on whether to take the relationship to the next level or not. A lady who is not real always has skeletons in the closet. She is always afraid of her own shadows.

           A WOMAN WHO CAN HANDLE MONEY

When money is worked for, its usage is very dear to the hearts of men. As we live in a generation where the strength of a man is partly determined by the amount of money he possesses, men have had the desire to settle down with women who can handle money. Every man wants to be with a lady who can help him build and not just come and waste resources. Men will start to assess you on this the moment they initiate friendship with you. They will look out for signs when they take you out on dates and also monitor how you manage your own resources.

Never think that you have your own money so you can spend it anyhow you want it. Yes, it is yours but men look out for how wise a lady is when it comes to spending on things. A woman who can handle money well always has a contingency plan when the man has in abundance. This contingency plan is what she uses to provide for the family when the financial status of the family changes. Most of our mothers were good at this. They never spent all the money they were given when they went to the market. They always made sure that at least they had reserves from the money given. They did not always rely on our fathers´ for the minute things that they could handle in their own way. 

Men will always bait you with money to assess your managing abilities. There are times they will intentionally leave sums of money or few notes in their pockets when you take them for washing. They will not ask for them but that is always a bait to check your faithfulness when it comes to money. There are men who are good at cooking and know the amount it will cost for a meal. However, they will give you in abundance to check how you utilise resources. We don´t want our mother in you, but we are looking out for ladies who can build with us and not just those who will waste resources. Companies even lay off workers who waste resources,  and mind you that he is not even a company.

When men start friendship with you and you always ask for financial assistance, it gives them a different impression about you. Today, you call that you have misplaced your school fees, the next time it will be your phone and the list goes on. He might give you what you want on few occasions but will always have it in mind not to settle down with you. My lady, the fact that you are in a relationship with him does not mean he is the solution to your financial burdens.  It is a sign that you cannot handle money when you call him all the time for financial assistance. Men look out for this in a relationship

            INDEPENDENCE

A close friend of mine fell in love with a lady and did everything to win her heart. It took a while before the lady accepted his proposal. Barely three months later, my friend came to me complaining that the lady has no friends anymore and he is the only one she talks to and hangs out with. When he even needs little space for himself, the lady is all over the place to

fill in that vacuum. He needed a breathing space at times. He made me aware that he truly loved the lady but there are times he needed some space.

Life will always be boring if you make up your mind to talk to only one person and see that face every single minute. When he is the only friend you have, he might enjoy your presence from the beginning but things will change later. Men want to be with ladies who are independent. They want you to have friends you hang out with or talk to at times. They want you to have some other stuffs that keep you busy. The moment he becomes the only person you talk to, the only person you want to see and the only person to make you laugh, he will get tired along the journey. Some marriages are now dry because there are no external parties involved. You still need to have some friends around who can keep your company because he might not be around all the time. You need to have some people who can call you and spend time with you in person or on phone so as to release your stress. The moment you build your whole life, time, space and everything around him, he may get fed u along the path. It is like heaping loads weighing 70kg on a 50kg platform. Don´t get me wrong, i am not saying get other guys who are interested in you as side babes. No, never think of that. What i mean is that the relationship will always be dry if you expect him to do everything and be everywhere for you. Be with him, share ideas with him and all that, but don´t make him your God. the truth is, he will get tired.

There are some ladies who cut off all their friends the moment they enter a relationship. They take their spouse as their advisor, lecturer, comedian, pastor, and in fact everything. Problems begin to set in when these men fail to be available when needed. My dear, there are times he will like to be with the family, some school mates and the likes. There are times he will like to be alone. You need to have something that makes you independent. Something that keeps you busy when he is not around. You need to show this independence so that the relationship is always fresh. Space is very necessary at times in the relationship. Maintain healthy friends that he knows, introduce your mates to him and let him have no doubts of your associations. This will make him see that you are independent.

                                                  HOW TO TREAT A MAN

Where i grew up, in the suburbs of Kumasi, i realised that couples stayed together for longer years and mostly 90% stayed with their partners till death parted them all because the women knew how to treat their men. Every man wants to be treated like a king. How you talk to him and introduce him to your pals is very important to him. The way you treat him gives you a higher chance of maintaining the relationship.

Every man wants a woman who makes them feel important. What you call him and how you handle him both home and in public makes him cherish you as a lady. Men want to feel important and they want to show the world that they are taking good care of you. They become swollen headed when you give them accolades in public . I have seen that even men who do not treat their ladies well have a change of mind when their ladies still give them the credit to their beauty and well being before the outside world.

Abigail knew how to treat a man and that even compelled David to take her as his wife. She was able to stay with Nabal, her husband, though he was an unreasonable man. She never complained and performed her duties as a wife. Her expressions that persuaded David from slaying Nabal made her an asset for David to purchase.  Sarah knew how to treat Abraham well. A woman who treats her man well always brings out the best in him. She is always by his side irrespective of the storm they face.

Every man wants the whole world to know that he is your superman. He wants you to boast of him in public and that boosts his public figure before friends. No matter how bad he is in bed, he still wants you to present him publicly as strong. Men don´t want their weaknesses to be sold to the public. Men don´t want the public to know that they are financially incapable of managing his family. He does not want the world to know that he has been laid off work. These things affect their ego and they always want women who can cover up for their weaknesses and help them to be on their feet. Every lady should know how to deal with the weaknesses of her man. Every man wants to be with a woman who supports his vision. Men seek for ladies who believe in them and supports them no matter what. He expects you to be a good listener. He has a lot of stories to tell about his job, his past and his future. He always wants you to give him a listening ear. Good communication forms a solid foundation in every relationship. You can treat him well if you communicate well with him. Men love surprises. It is not always that he needs to tell you what he wants. Make the move at times and surprise him with a fun date out. Surprise him with things he enjoys and spark up the love in him all the time.

        TRUST

Relationship is all about trust. Every guy wants to be with a lady who he can trust with his heart, money and future. A relationship without trust is full of deception. There will be no transparency and each party will always think the other is cheating if there is no trust. Every man wants a woman who has confidence in him. Trust is always built when the man feels that you are reliable and dependable. Men want to be with women who admit whenever they are wrong. Mistakes happen all the time but it takes someone without pride to accept her faults. Trust is built when there is no pride. A person who trusts you will involve you in her life and activities. She will confide in you and tell you her problems. Men always want to be seen to be in charge. When you involve them in your life, they always feel important.

Trusting someone gives you the impression that there is nothing to hide. Men don´t want to play the detective roles in their relationships. They always want transparency. Never keep secrets from your partner. If a man gets a woman he trusts, he is willing to go the extra mile with her in all things. When there is trust, communication always flows naturally. You are able to speak your hearts out and plan ahead. People who trusts you will always tell you their plans for the future and will involve you in it.

Trust is earned. You cannot just tell someone that you trust him if he has not earned it. your actions will be a proof to him that you are trustworthy. Every trustworthy person is able to keep promises. the more you break your promises all the time, you make it easier for him not to trust you. Every man wants to be with a lady who is able to forgive him when he commits. Mistakes will always happen in the relationship but it takes a person with trust to forgive and move on with the relationship.

                        SOCIABLE

The glory of the man is always measured by how the world sees his wife. A lot of relationships have broken because the ladies were not sociable and always kept to themselves. As a lady, you need to be outgoing and not always anti-social. Know how to entertain the colleagues and families of your husband. Know how to spark up fun when there is a gathering. You may be an introvert but that must not deter you from being sociable. 

Relationship is not just between you and the man. The moment you enter a relationship, you get into the family of the man and no family entertains a woman who is not sociable. From where i come from, an outspoken and easy-going lady is accepted more than the ´i am minding my own business´ type. For you to be sociable, you need to know the likes of your man and the people surrounding him. You can only contribute to his conversations if you have an idea of what he is saying. I am not saying you must get a degree in his trade but at least, a fair knowledge will be appreciated.

Men look out for ladies they can take out on occasions. Ladies who are full of fun and life will always win the day. Every man wants people to talk about how nice and sociable his lady is and it is his pride. Men who always have complaints about their ladies from friends always have second thoughts of dating a different choice. The more they hear those complaints form friends, families and mates, the more confused they become. If you are that type of lady, then this is the time for you to change because you do not know the extent to which those complaints have gotten to.

The fact that men look out for ladies who are sociable does not mean you must pretend to be one. If you are not that type, let him know and avail yourself to be taught by him. Have the mindset to change. Men want things in moderation. As they like ladies who are sociable, they abhor ladies who are loud and appear to be uncontrollable in public. Ladies who want to hug everybody, laugh at every single joke, wants to go to every party and dance anyhow with everybody are clearly marked out from their books. They may hang out with you just for the night but they will not dream of having a long term relationship with you.

I have come to realise that majority of the ladies who are not sociable have a low self esteem. They lack confidence and don´t believe in themselves. Others also have been betrayed few times or more in life and they don´t see the essence of bringing out their best or exposing their happiness. The pains you have been through can really have effect on your life and relationship, if you don´t decide to let it go and move on with your life. Be yourself, let people see that you have a happy life and forget about your past experiences with people if you want to be sociable and have a happy life.

                           SPIRITUALITY

I saw a picture of a man trying to carry the world and the pillar for that man in the picture was his woman who had knelt down to pray for him. This act of spirituality was the cushion for the man. What i deduced form this was that, a man can achieve the unimaginable if only he has a woman of prayer in his life. Women have a greater grace when it comes to spiritual things because they were created to easily believe. This part of the woman was the point of contact for the snake to capitalise and deceive the generation of man. When you have a woman who is emotional in the things of God and fights behind the scenes for her man, everything goes smoothly. You can achieve anything you want if you have a praying woman in your life.

God in time past used women of prayer to save generations. Deborah was able to renew the spirits of the men of Israel because she was full of prayer. The reign of King Ahasuerus took a beautiful transformation because he had Esther, a woman of prayer, to be his wife. Men always look out for a lady who has the desire to pray and support the family.

It is not all about how beautiful she is or how sweet her voice is. It is all not about how sumptuous her dishes are. Spiritual battles are won behind the scenes in prayer. The relationship will always be filled with problems that cannot be solved if there is no one to stand and pray. Children who are meant to change the world are always born through prayer. Hannah was a woman of prayer and that made God give her Samuel as a son. God visited Mary because she was spiritual and He needed a consecrated womb for the Messiah to be conceived. I have witnessed how money could not solve the problems of married couples but prayer did. I have seen how prayers of a woman changed situations in the family. My mother is a living testimony and i have always revered the power of a praying woman.

Most men always give the excuse that they do not have much time to pray because of their jobs. These excuses are very flimsy but at least a praying woman can fill that gap of prayer less in the man and take on that spiritual role. The relationship is enjoyable when booth partners are prayerful.

               

        FRIEND

It is always a good thing to be with someone you naturally flow with. Someone you have known for some time, who don´t struggle to make you happy, who can tell her mind when you go wrong and also exhibits natural compassion towards is always the one to take home. Every man wants to marry a friend. Friends don´t pretend, they are always themselves. A friend will always let you know when you are wrong. The friend will not do things to impress you. These are the traits men look out for.

The man always searches for the lady he is cool with, who brings out the best in him. I saw a lot of my colleagues getting married after University because they knew themselves for long.We stayed in the same class for four years, attended lectures always and went for church services in the company of one another. This developed a strong bond that made them know themselves. A friend will always make you laugh. She will make you feel that you have someone to depend on. A friend does favours without expecting them in return. You can confide in a friend and a friend can always put her life on the line just for you.

The more you build up the friendship in the person, the easier things will flow. One mistake that we mostly do is to propose to the lady the moment we set eyes on her. That always destroys the basis of friendship. It makes her pretend to be what she is not, just to please you. It is better for you to build the friendship before you propose.

Every man wants to be with the lady that he can flow with, the lady he is not shy of. Understanding becomes strong among friends. Friends know the likes and dislikes of each other. Men don´t want to always see the made-up face always, they want to see your natural face too. They want to laugh at you, tease you and also set pranks at you. You cannot do these things constructively if the person is not your friend. Men want to settle with someone they have witnessed their happy moments, sad moments, expression of their anger and full display of their emotions.

Settle with your friend, marry your friend and life will be an enjoyable moment for you.