WHEN MARRIAGE BECOMES A COMPETITION

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The prayer topic of most ladies is to get married in their youthful stages. To some, the pressure from the family pushes them to tie the knot when they are not actually expecting it. Others too see marriage as part of the new generation fashion, so all they want is to have that golden or diamond ring on their finger. They want to be seen among the sect of ladies who are married. Most often than not, the mothers always desire to pride themselves of being the mothers of the bride. The fathers can´t wait to walk the daughters down the aisle and give their hands in marriage.

I sat down listening to a bride who got married after knowing the groom for only two months, as she lamented and was seeking for divorce. All that she could say was, " i did not know him that well. I wanted to marry some day in life but this came faster and it was an opportunity for me to be the first lady amongst my friends to tie the knot." When marriage becomes a race, people forget about patience.When marriage becomes a competition, people settle for anything that comes their way.

A lot of people now marry without knowing the true colours of the individual they are getting married to. They rely on the excitement stage of the relationship and assume they love the individual. At the excitement stage, whatever he does intrigues you. You get happy always because he calls you dozens of times before the day ends. He surprises you with his presence and with gifts. He sings for you before you even sleep and you can chat till you fall asleep. All these heighten your emotions and you feel on top of the world. However, that is not the very things you will see as the relationship advances to the next stage. The reality stage is when you will see the true nature of the person. That is when you will know whether he is hilarious and can make you happy all the time. At this stage, the true nature of the person is revealed. He stops calling you often as he used to and you begin to know the realities.

The nature of the individual can be revealed when there is a period of friendship. The moment the mindset of relationship comes in, it mostly destroys the foundation of friendship. You meet someone today and the next day he proposes. It is very difficult for you to know the true colours of that person because most of the time he will act to please you so that you accept that proposal. Studying the person for sometime evolves through friendship. The best person to get married to is your friend. The bond of friendship is a solid rock that propels you into a good marriage. When friendship is lost, the marriage becomes a facade.

Relationships that could have attained greater success die prematurely when the level of friendship is very shallow. As you are friends, you get to know the intrinsic qualities of the individual. Their true characters are not revealed in three or five months of your meeting him, it takes time. The period of friendship reveals that. Don´t expect to know everything about him within three months. His mother who gave birth to him at times is even surprised whether that is the son she delivered. It takes time to know him, don´t rush the process.

When friendship is not the basis, the marriage will have issues. Yes, these issues will become giants that will be difficult to fight.Know him well before you decide. Marriage is not a competition, neither is it a race. Do not make the mistake of tying the knot just because he has proposed. Get to know him well. Know him better, study him. Marriage is not a fashion. If it was, then the poor will never have a lovely one. Marriage is not a tourist attraction. If it was then only those who could afford would end up enjoying it. The joy in marriage is not about the assets you have accrued for her over the years. It is not about the legacy of your family that states that ladies marry at the age of twenty three. Since it is not a competition, then don´t be in a haste. So far as the scriptures frown on divorce, get your facts right before tying the knot. It is better for you to end the relationship now than to say you can handle it and then divorce in marriage. Friendship is a vital key to a successful relationship.

BUILD THE RELATIONSHIP ON FRIENDSHIP AND YOU CAN HAVE A MARRIAGE OF A SKYSCRAPER.

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